You know the mentally challenged person in reference better than others. You know whether or not they get upset if you ask them to clean up or if they get angry when someone else plays with their toys. If the child is young, you have the opportunity to help mold his or her character and behavior, but if the person is grown you may be limited to how many changes you can make. If the person is someone really young, or someone you've just started helping, you may not know much - if anything - about the things they like or dislike.
We all get angry at times but it can help to walk away and cool down, talk to a friend, or just have an argument with a loved one or friend and get it off your chest. Mentally handicapped kids and adults can also get angry, or even have behavioral problems, but they often don't know how to express what they are feeling. When they do express their anger or upset it's sometimes in a way that we don't recognize as healthy. The children or adults can pout, hit, kick, throw things or even bite themselves! Have you ever seen an angry bull? The two can be similar in many ways!
As with most people who are angry it can take some time to calm down and rationalize it all. With a handicapped child or adult the same can be true. However, since they can't rationalize many things, the rage can continue for a long period of time. During an angry fit it's not unusual for a mentally challenged person to hurt themselves or someone else. Expect rooms to be wiped out and personal items destroyed - in many cases. How do you prevent all the chaos and commotion? Understanding your own loved one helps - you know what he or she likes or doesn't - but sometimes that's just not enough to prevent the person from throwing a fit out of anger.
There are some things you can do to prevent upset when it comes to your mentally handicapped child, adult or adult-child. Often, the handicapped child has grown to adult size but still has the mind of a child. Keeping this in mind when controlling and disciplining can be helpful. Remember that children often have to be told something more than once and they'll frequently try to get away with things that aren't permitted.
The biggest mistake you can make, when dealing with a handicapped child, is to give in to their fits. Never give them what they're screaming for, never take being hit or otherwise abused by the person and never, ever back down out of fear! If you are the care taker of such a person learn to deal with them in a positive way, when they are young, and you'll have much less trouble. Too late for that? There are still some things you can do to prevent and control anger issues.
No different than "normal" people, mentally challenged people have things that belong to them and they simply don't want to loan them out. Keep this in mind before helping yourself to their belongings. For many handicapped people it's a major issue if you touch their stuff! Let them have their own things which are theirs alone. Some of these children or adult-children have a photographic memory and can instantly tell if something is missing or has been moved around in their rooms. This can set off an angry fit that could last for hours! Respect their privacy and their belongings.
Most mentally challenged children can be reasoned with in some manner. If they can understand the presented concept they'll usually go along. There's no need for yelling, name-calling, physical abuse or other negative reactions. You'll generally find that rewards, rather than punishments, go further when trying to control anger and behavioral problems. A reward can be allowing the person to stay up past his or her bedtime to watch tv, or offering a special snack. Punishments can be anything from taking the remote control until the person does as told, or telling them they won't be having their dessert that night. If the punishment seems to upset the person more than normal perhaps you could think of a different punishment. You'll find that, after being around the mentally handicapped, they'll sometimes go off about one thing while accepting something else. They might scream and holler if you take their remote, for example, but they'll go along - albeit begrudgingly - with not being allowed to have their dessert.
No matter how careful you are to respect the mentally challenged child or adult-child he or she will, more than likely, lose their tempers at some point. If this happens you'll only fuel the fire if you become aggressive. Try to find out what's upsetting the person and make it right. That might mean not making him wear the shoes he doesn't like or putting something back where it usually belongs. It's okay to placate the person on occasion but don't allow it to get to the point where he or she controls your life.
The last thing you want to do while a mentally handicapped person is enraged is to lay your hands on him or her in any way. Simply grabbing them around the wrist to lead them to their rooms is all it might take to have them become violent towards you. Do not push, pull, or try to make the person sit down. Keep a calm voice - even if he or she is screaming - and tell them what you want them to do. Tell them they will lose their playtime, tell them they will lose their remote - or let them know of other punishments you're considering. Be firm but don't join them in screaming!
If there comes a time when you absolutely can't control your child or adult it could be time to consider a home where he or she can receive professional care. Many people live with secret pain and hide the fact that their mentally handicapped loved one is abusing them instead of the other way around. Don't live like this! Get help by calling your local Department of Social Services to find out about respite services or other assistance offered in your area.
"Don't allow your disABILITY to shut you out of life; your request for Access has been Granted"
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